This was me last week! Thanks for putting up with all those comics I sent you… that I got from all the new internets, bwahaha
Hahaha! So true. Sorry I drag you to all my Saturday events………. not sorry enough to remind you that you’re helping me October 5th for the WEDO robotics event :D.
And this is why it took me forever to find a non-girlie outfit for the game. This girl looks like a poser (yeah talk about your outdated terms!). I love you for waiting for me to change into all those outfits to go get drunk at a Mets game.
UNLOCKING THE TRUTH IS THE MOST BRUTAL SIXTH GRADE METAL BAND EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER
Last Thursday I took the L train to the end of the line and caught up with Unlocking the Truth, a heavy metal trio composed of three sixth graders, Malcolm Brickhouse, Jarad Dawkins and Alec Atkins. We were first made aware of these guys after we saw some of their videos on YouTube, which show the trio absolutelydestroying Times Square. Some people have referred to them as “childcore,” but those people probably can’t play music well enough to appreciate the epic crushiness these 11-year-olds pump out. These guys play seriously brutal metalcore, and they’re better than whatever sixth grade band you were in. This is what we’re talking about:
Does your mom listen to metal too?
Malcolm: No. She listens to R&B.
Jarad: She listens to house music.
Are you guys trying to educate your parents about metal?
Jarad: No. My mom just likes the songs we make. She doesn’t like the songs that we listen to.
Where do you guys get the ideas for your songs?
Jarad: Well, people judge Malcolm about… he wears nail polish and I dealt with it once and I see what Malcolm felt because everybody judged him, but I ignored it and I think he does too.
I see on the wall that you guys have a lot of dates lined up for summer—Webster Hall, Lincoln Center—are those for real?
Jarad: No, those are our imaginary tour dates. Places that we want to go when we get big and successful.
Oh. Huh. Are you guys just into metal or do you like other music?
Malcolm: I’m into metal and pop.
Jarad: I’m into metal and hip hop and R&B.
Alec: I’m into metal and dubstep and pop.
Who are some of your biggest influences?
Jarad: We like to listen to Motionless in White. Malcolm and Alec like Escape the Fate, but I don’t. Mainly my favorite band right about now is Chelsea Grin, a deathcore band. They haven’t stopped touring since 2008, they have an EP called Evolve which I listen to almost everyday.
Malcolm: This is our interview not theirs.
Jarad: I know.
These are the raddest fucking kids, ever.
Friggin awesome kids. That is all.
I redid the Summer illustration because i wanted to use colored inks instead of watercolors. Can’t wait for summer time…
NOTE: (If you aren’t watching HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, you should be. It’s AWESOME. The game of Marshgammon comes from the Season One Episode appropriately entitled Game Night. Several rules, as well as the major games Marshgammon borrows from are used as the basis with additional rules…
Pat, Rachel, Bobby, Laura and Seymon?
Or conversely the Beachwood gang. Your move, Dan.
Your face is the reason faces were invented
Dan, I hope you know if this is long-term, you might have Liz Lemon as a sister-in-law.
For the office!
Step 1: Raise your hands up like, “Whoa you guys you can’t be serious.”
Step 2: Make sure to emphasize your points by counting with your hands so that simple tea party Senator mansplainer understands. Mansplainers like visuals.
Step 3: No, seriously. Fuck this guy.
Step 4: Raise your hands up like, “What’s your point?” and clown the mansplainer for not having an actual relevant point.
Step 5: When Senator John McCain calls you combative and proceeds to rant endlessly, nod with a sly smile.
Step 6: Take the time McCain spends ranting to reorganize the pages in your binder.
Step 7: Rearrange all of the random crap on your desk. You can never be too organized when getting grilled by angry white dudes.
Step 8: When the rant continues on and on look at the mansplainer with a *blank stare* and put your hand on your chin like, “Are you still talking?”
Step 9: Go home and do this.
all credit goes to Zerlina
This actually has nothing to do with you, Dan, I just love Hillary.
Congrats on becoming an entry-ish level sport writer! Sorry I can’t stay a Mets fan. Thanks for loving me nonetheless..